The First

The First - 12/30/07

I find it hard to express true feelings in writing in many cases. My English writing skills have always been one of my great educational challenges -- especially back when I was in school-- and I also tend to take criticism a little too personal. None the less, there is some benefit I see, on the horizon, from being able to brain dump once in a while.

..........................................

The Rant:
I wonder how many other Americans are as tired of what truly ails our American government as I am. Between the deception, fraud and waste, and all it's glorious corruption... I think I am not in the minority when I say that my faith that the "beast" our government has become is sadly on the wane. It is too bad that we can not reorganize and overhaul the whole system without the threat of war and assassination to the "wave makers" by those who have spent their whole life making things "comfortable" for themselves and who stand to lose the most for both their iniquity and incompetency.

There are some who really care and try (politicians), but the ones who are truly wielding the power seem to have "other interests" than the good of the people on their true and often hidden agenda.

The Truth:
I'm a little addicted to gaming. Sure, there are times when I get tired of it and go on a binge of watching DVDs and Movies instead (I love 'Hogan's Heroes’). Still, there is something alluring and escapist in gaming for me. I used to satiate and escape with D&D in the 70's and with books in the 80's and early 90's last century. But today, while still getting my fill of Fantasy Fiction books, I keep inner piece with games.

Some would measure that addiction against financial gain... true, it is a time sink with little or no gain for me, but I would rather measure it in "sanity maintained". The World is in too much of a rush for me. It all seems to be about the dollar instead of People and Family. My religious beliefs do help keep that in check, but by the same token, I miss a slower world... one in which I spent less time in the house and felt comfortable spending it outside and with others.

Today:
So here we are, close to being through another end-of-year Holiday Season, and I can not help but feel very hollow. While there are many thoughts I could share in that vein, as to all the causes... for now, I think I need to use a little discretion in really opening the whole "can of worms". First, I don't think I am ready to deal with them all. Secondly, I am sure the others whom are involved in the collage of pasted pieces are not ready for the changes I would make should I have carte blanche control in life decisions.

Lets focus today on allergies: Having recently been diagnosed with adult allergy-induced asthma, I find the mountain of things which should change in my living environment impossibly huge. Even going more granular and focusing on dust-mites alone seems insurmountable based on current conditions. Ohh my heck... what to do here... So a normal blood histamine count is less than 10, with 10 being what constitutes as a "high count", my test came back with a count of 567... O.o The doctor described this in these terms, "if we relate your count to cholesterol, this would be like having a cholesterol count of around 2000". So.... am I gonna die? *the doctor laughed in my face*

2008 - well, for me it is not about "what am I going to accomplish this year!" It is about surviving day by day and week by week. Maintain sanity and don't make a rash, life altering, stupid decision that felt good because it was changing this static environment that is my life. Some might read into this and say "he must be an addict of some sort"... well, computer games as previously mentioned... What I crave is change and diversity. Money is not hugely important to me, although my tastes tend toward quality (which usually means expensive). So day to day I spend allot of my energy just remaining stable and reliable.

Question of the day:
What would you be willing to sacrifice to live in the place you would prefer?

-Dave